America Wins, Lochte Apologizes and Manbang(?)... All This And More In The Weekly Spread!

The 2016 Summer Olympics have officially ended! Though Americans may be saddened they’ll have to wait four more years before the wonderful sport of Women’s Steeplechase once again graces their television, they can take solace in the simple fact that WE TOTALLY KICKED OLYMPIC BUTT! USA USA USA USA USA!

USA’s victory doesn’t come without a black eye, looking at you Ryan Lochte! America’s textbook fratboy recently admitted to fabricating that whole “robbed at gunpoint” thing, was charged by the Brazilian authorities with falsely reporting a crime and may have to return to Brazil to face a trial. Layer this on top of losing four of his top commercial sponsorships and it’s safe to say that Ryan’s Olympic career might be circling the drain (Get it? Pool humor!).

He sure is pretty though…

Thor the Bengal Cat is clawing his way to the top of the interwebs! Take a tiger, zap it with a shrink ray, and - VOILA! You've got Thor. Thor may have been just an average joe house cat last week, but #catlovers web-wide are raving about this kitty superstar and his perfectly colored coif. We agree with Donna in the Facebook comments said, “Purrfect 10”!

A Filipino fisherman has put what is being touted as the world’s largest pearl on public display. The pearl weighs 75 pounds and measures 12 inches by 24 inches. It was hidden under his bed for the 10 years since he and his family found it while fishing. The story of finding the pearl is itself a real fish tale: he and his family were out fishing when a storm hit and they moored to a reef. When they pulled their anchor, they found a giant clam attached to it - and inside that clam was an enormous pearl! To see the elephant-tooth-shaped pearl in person, head to City Hall in the town of Puerto Princesa, Palawan Islands, Philippines.

North Korea’s state-controlled TV provider, KCTV, is touting a new service. That service? Manbang.

That’s right. Manbang.

Similar to it’s English meaning, in Korean, “manbang” translates to “everything” - and that’s exactly the programming you’ll grow to expect on the DPRK’s new set-top box next time you’re in-country with Dennis Rodman.

From documentaries on North Korean political history to seminars on the awe-inspiring greatness and of Supreme Brother Kim Jong-un and his fellow party leadership, Manbang has all the exclusive hits you want. Plus you can couple your Manbang service with KCTV’s current award-winning lineup of documentaries on North Korean political history to seminars on the awe-inspiring greatness and of Supreme Brother Kim Jong-un and his fellow party leadership and you’ve got access to literally all the entertainment any North Korean is allowed to watch without being sentenced to 7 years hard labor! All hail our glorious supreme leader!

Crispy. Crunchy. Golden. Mmmmmmmmm. Sorry, just thinking about waffles since Wednesday was National Waffle Day.

National Waffle Day celebrates the day the waffle iron was patented in the United States - August 24, 1869. It was Cornelus Swarthout who invented it, and with a name like that, we must assume he was a real lady charmer looking for a quick and easy way to mix up some morning goodies for his lassies.

Did you miss NWD? Make-up day is officially every morning!!

One last note: Dear New Zealand, please send us your pizza delivery robots. Love always, America!