Football Returns, iPhone Upgrades, and Rob Lowe, All This and More in the Weekly Spread!

This week marks the return of America’s favorite sport (no, not you Lawn Mower Racing). Football Season is back! As Americans again commit their Sunday to helmeted gladiators, one can’t help but dream that this is THEIR year.  While the season kicks off with some familiar faces missing (Peyton Manning has retired, Tony Romo broke his back and of course Deflategate keeps Tom Brady off the field a few more weeks), several of our favorites have laced up for another year.  Also, LA has a team this year! How crazy is that? Our only disappointment is that they didn’t opt to change their name from the Rams to the Golds. Maybe next year Ari!  

Speaking of football, Tim Tebow has been picked up for another year, this time giving baseball a shot. The New York Mets (essentially the Baseball equivalent of the Jets) signed Tim to a minor-league contract. If all goes well for the Tebow, he’ll be placed within their AAA Las Vegas based team. City of Sin better watch out!

A video of an awesomely creative science/music project had us captivated!

The end of the world was officially announced this week when Apple reported that the upcoming iPhone 7 would have NO HEADPHONE JACK (cue scary music, panicked mobs and maniacal laughter).  Instead Apple is encouraging users to switch to wireless headphones or to utilize headphones that plug into the iPhone's lightning jack. This revolutionary change has taken the internet by storm giving birth to thousands of memes, rants and did we say memes? The headphone jack-less iPhone is scheduled for release on September 16.

Rob Lowe may have been the intended focal point for a comedic roast in his honor, but it was Ann Coulter who received the brute force of the comedic community. Everyone from Peyton Manning to folk-singer Jewel - and Rob Lowe himself - got their jabs in as the night wore on. Ann Coulter who is most known for her staunch Right political views has openly expressed that she is against gay marriage, pro-life and allegedly comes across a bit racist in her books.  In other words, you have to wonder if the producers of the roast didn’t bring her on board just to take attention away from Rob Lowe’s dreamy eyes. If you haven’t watched the roast yet, we encourage you to check it out. It’s literally one of the funniest roasts Comedy Central has done.

In news from space, the European Space Agency has finally tracked down the space probe they landed on a comet almost two years ago. When the Philae landed, it bounced and landed in a dark crack. Since it’s solar powered and is in perpetual darkness, Philae hasn’t sent any information since it first landed and scientists have given up on restoring contact with it.

The end of summer means the end of summer love! Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston’s three-month fling has officially come to an end. No word if T-Swizzle is going to let Tom keep the, “I Heart T.S.” t-shirt he wore during this year’s Fourth of July. Ta-Ta fans can only hope that this romance will inspire Taylor’s next big hit. Maybe something along the lines of, “I never thought love could be hokey, until I start dating the dude that played Loki.”  

Oh, she’s also apparently the leader of a Satanic church. So that’s… something.

In closing, another milestone reached for the LGBTQ community. Erin O’Flatery is set to take the stage Sunday to compete for the title of Miss America. Momentously, Erin is the first openly gay contender for the Miss America crown! To her and the rest of the contestants we bid good luck! The Miss America pageant airs this Sunday.