Timberlake’s New Song, Bieber’s New Story, Beyonce’s New Water and More In The Weekly Spread!

Big week in the wide world of politics. As it becomes frighteningly clear that Donald Trump is now the presumed nominee for the Republican party, it also becomes clear that his party (and the general public) is not in full support. Speaker Paul Ryan stated that he is “not ready” to support Trump as a candidate, while the rest of the world is seriously concerned about what the U.S. foreign policy will look like with Donald Trump at the helm. He is also getting flak from the Rolling Stones, who have joined other artists in requesting an immediate cessation of their songs being used in the context of Trump’s campaign. On top of it all, Hillary Clinton certainly won’t let this happen quietly. She highlights a few points of hypocrisy in Trump claiming to be a unifying factor for his party in this new campaign ad. Some might say that Trump is a lesser evil, as even the Satanists want nothing to do with Ted Cruz a.k.a ‘Lucifer in the flesh’. But then again, Trumps idea of reaching out to his voters is eating a taco bowl on Cinco de Mayo and tweeting “I love hispanics”. If only he had a sombrero he could have worn, we would have had the trifecta!

In some news from the current White House occupants, Malia Obama is headed to Harvard University and the White House Correspondent’s dinner was an evening of witty discussion. Obama made his very last (as he said, perhaps the very last) Correspondent’s dinner speech count. Between discussions of the trials of appointing a supreme court justice and references to Game of Thrones, he also addressed the nation’s concerns of his succession, saying that “the end of the Republic never looked so good.”  While Obama’s speech was a literal mic drop, the night was stolen by comedian Larry Wilmore, perfectly tight-roping the line between Praise and Roast. We’re not sure if any other comedian would have been able to get away with lines like: “You look terrible, Mr. President,” Wilmore told him. “Your hair is so white it tried to punch me at a Trump rally.”

May the 4th (be with you) was celebrated with exuberance worldwide this past Wednesday. The White House held a funky stormtrooper dance party to celebrate Star Wars Day, lego builders in Malaysia constructed the ‘world’s largest’ millennium falcon, and NASA, Facebook and devoted fans everywhere paid reverence to the glory that is Star Wars. All hail the mighty midichlorians!

Justin Timberlake just dropped his first new song since 2013! We’re sure that “Can’t Stop the Feeling” will be a hit summer jam. The team of collaborators includes the cast of Dreamworks Animation’s Trolls (Anna Kendrick, Gwen Stefani, James Corden and more!). Check out the fun first listen video and catch the dancey summer feelings! In some other entertainment news, our second favorite Justin (Bieber, of course) (Editor’s note: the opinion of the author does not reflect the opinion of anyone else working at SocialToaster, there are plenty more Justins most of us would like recorded as our second favorite: Justin Hills, Canada’s Justin Trudeau, I mean literally every other Justin out there) recently launched a pop-up shop in Manhattan for some limited-edition Purchase merchandise. The fans went wild.

Apple just faced a notable sales drop for the first time in 13 years. What seemed like a never-ending stream of success may have hit its first road bump. The company recently reported that it $50.6 billion in sales in the last quarter, falling short of previous quarters and of measured expectations. Although these results don’t necessarily come as a surprise to some analysts and investors, or beyond the reach of pessimistic forecasts, it still could seem like a distinct turning point for this power company. Do we dare make the pun? Something finally took a bite out of Apple.

Beyoncé, fresh with the success of her visual album ‘Lemonade’, now wants to turn your attention to watermelon water. She recently invested in start-up World Waters LLC, a company that produces a sports drink of watermelon juice processed at high pressure. This business deal adds to Beyoncé’s specific portfolio, which includes athletic clothing line Ivy Park and investments in vegan-diet kits. Looks like we’re all going to be drinking… watermelon.